Naruto4994

Awaken to a doubled ceiling Close them! Give a good rub and hope! Ceiling is still doubled... But time is wasting time to go (Go where?) spend the day wisely! (In front of hypnotic display?) The doubled keys, letters, walls all too much. Take the medicine to "help" Nothing changes, phone call. Accommodating voice and persona. Promise of message delivery. Click or beep? Whichever. Been so long, my eyes so heavy tired but still morning? Dusty tennis racquets left in cupboard Weakened limbs to swing again? Seat is warm, comfortable. Slouch, sore back, should exercise? Later, need to finish this first. Day gone, exercise? Too late now, maybe

A dull tone shades my days. Aside my smile and "Hey"s. Glorious life and death. This life will end eventually and I care not when or how. Suicide? Why? I'm not sad... But the days slowly turn grey, and life begins to decay. Should my embers fade now... Does it matter? Yes, I suppose. The bonds of blood and memories bind my life to this soil. However should an accident occur one would not be robbed. Many things yet to be done but should that light beckon would I hold on?

The thick fog rolls in blanketing everything. The air, thick with dreams, fills my lungs. Such heavy lids can't be held open. The darkness within negotiating consciousness. The stones of coming dreams weighing heavily. Their efforts to encumber felt presently. Just for a moment to the land of dreams. Where gravity is defied and fantasy is real. Where the eyes that watch me cannot reach. My final sanctitude of permanent rest. These dreams, this fog, thoughts of... something. Something? Stumbling through the choking fog. Gasping in this entity of suffocating weight. Lids open but visibility smothered. It cannot process, It's death, poisoned. Cr

I sit and stare at you. You stare back, indifferent. These windows, mirrored. You cannot see my suffering. I get up and grab the chair. I hold it above my head. I pause. I lower the chair. I head to the door. To let you in, or me out... Hand on handle I stop. Who are you? One of the many. Those who would disregard me. Those who lives are indifferent to mine. I shouldn't bother you. I'll just stay inside. Desperately wanting you to see. To see the suffering. The suffering inside me. I lock the door... and sit down... staring at you.

Cross my heart and hope to die I promise you, I will never lie. Etched in my stone, I wait. Knowing you're never late. Until a late message is received, feeling let down, deceived. I waited for our time to meet But was fed tales of misfortune, how sweet. You're too busy or "just can't make it" You tell me "Sorry" But I know you're faking" The next time you're all so swell Forgotten already the lies you tell. Just be honest when you hate me Come on give it! I can take it. I'm not looking for your excuses Because to me it feels more like abuses. Don't dangle me along on you're pity leash. I have my own will, I'll go where I like, capich

The electricity courses through Like an entity beside myself yet none too dissimilar... Something unseen, unfelt, But it was, and still is, there. I see colours and shades, I feel my senses and embrace their reality. Knowing deep inside some part of me Courses through my veins, wishing, hoping, dreaming. For more. But this is me and my reality. Nothing exceptional, I'm a vessel. And the electrical pathways that guide me, bind me to do its wishes. The tears and strains I feel. The fat and poison I consume. This is not me, but the electricity.

Weary-eyed I stare. Blankly. The plains of dreams looming evermore before my thoughts. Images that are so impossible I forget them the moment reality slaps me in the face. My companion no more than a soft head-rest. All alone wanting more, yet not willing to show weakness. A wall of stone set to implode, held by a single whim. Though the dreamscape welcomes me and I it, reality's harsh slap remains. A burning reminder to be alert. I am hollowed out by my own protection, broken but not dysfunctional. Tears well up but cement dries them up.

In this world I live in is it worth living? I have dreams, aspirations, goals and... I lie alone every night wondering "What's next?" Will I ever have someone to myself? Who likes me for who I am, not trying to change me? I try to express myself but my mind is a cell. It allows me to reach through the bars. But it doesn't let me in the door. My emotions, concerns, personality and... imprisoned. Do I wish for death because I don't fear it? Or am I so scared of dying that life seems pointless? Day after day, tired, but I have things to do? Why is it so hard? I want to speak out. I want to call for help and talk about my darkness. But I can't. M

I had a dream last night about you It's crazy, even my subconscious misses you. Although it was a dream it felt so right. When I woke up it was almost like you were here. I'm not saying forever, but maybe, if we could just hang out, taking each step, we could see. I'm held back by not knowing how you feel, and I'm waiting using this feeling. Just the smile on your face would make me happy. And it pains me but I must stay away, partially. I want to see you fly, but I don't know where a lie. I want you, friends or more, I don't know for sure...